10:54 PM EST -- 01.07.03 c.e --

and today was a good day.
i woke up paranoid and feeling slightly mad..
i am also in the middle of 'A Scanner Darkly' by PK.Dick, which doesn't really help.
yesterday i received a wicked phone bill scam from AT&T that will pretty much
incinerate the little money i managed to save and so forth for my passage..
to down under.. so for awhile.. things looked a little grim.
tried to distract chattering mind by games of Solitaire and online I.Q tests.
it all failed.. all my vain attempts to temporarily trick my mind into another reality!
so i decided to venture out into the sunny, albeit freezing day..
and go for a long, winding walk along the Palisades and Hudson river.
snow covered the ground.. and the layer beneath the snow dust was pure ice.
the sun was bright and made the ice that formed on the naked branches of the trees...
gleam like glimmering stars, i tell you. it was like a winter faerie land.
so i walked on. puffs of condensation out of my mouth like a little dragon, at each breath.
the brisk air began to clear away the mental cobwebs in the cranium.
within the cliffs of the Palisades, i descended down the stone, snowy steps.
the world consisted me, the bare forests, the sheer cliffs, occasional winter birds,
dead leaves, the splashing Hudson, and the cold, silent gray rocks.
the when you get closer to river level, there are these tunnels, which look like...
they were inspired by the architecture at Gondor.. but with icicles hanging from the ceilings.
and so forth.

it seemed like i was walking for miles.. which was good..
wanted to keep going until weariness.
skipped over rocks, leaped over little trickling streams..
then it hit me.
since we carry the universes in our heads..
there will be solutions in the near future.
like all things... this too will soon also pass.
after that brief simple realization.. i felt light as a feather!

my mum said this.. in all problems.. there is always a way through.. be it a small doorway..
my dad said the same thing once, however his translation of the philosophies of Chairman Mao..
were rather dodgy. don't keep hitting yr head on a brick wall.. go around it
yeas, that's right, baby.

--

well. let me count the good shit that has been happening quietly.. sometimes we can forget about 'em.
got some complimentary salmon sushi from a genial chef.
MM in Londontown is in the process of procuring a copy of Jeff Noon's newest book and sending it!
been meeting up with souls i havent met up in ages.
and the craziest.. my brother GAVE me his Ibook and got a new one!
everyone praise him.. please.

ZKR is in the bush of Victoria, Oz, camping by himself..
something he sorely needed to do for years..
the NYC factory claimed a lot from the poor boy..
i have about one month before i go back.
so whats next? watched 'Fisher King' last night.
my cousin gave it to me for yule.
i liked what one of the main characters said about men and women. it made sense.
yr gonna just have to watch it.. and it is taken place in the Big Apple.

keep moving, keep moving.
gonna sell off all the cd's that are resellable tomorrow..
turned them all into MP3's.
all they do is collect dust anyway, and i have a destructive way with cd's.. sadly enough.

'freedom versus power'

ahh regardless of which ever direction my life takes in the near future...

i am still a lucky, lucky, blessed bastid.

d.....['why are you wearing that stupid mansuit?']